Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I'm not trying to blame it on the surrounding...Never am I putting the blame on anybody.But no matter how hard I tryIt still feels the same.I did try to stand out.I did try.But somehow...I just lost it.I've lost myself.I've lost my true self...The atiq who Used to be cheerfulUsed to have that happy-go-lucky attitude.Used to crack jokesUsed to make people around her laughUsed to be carefreeUsed to be happyUsed to not have any problemsUsed to not care about whatever people sayUsed to have a smile on her face...USED TO BE ME...But now...I barely know who I am.I seldom crack jokesI'm nomore carefreeI don't feel that,I've made the people around me laughI'm just living by the dayI don't smile all the timeI always have this low self-esteem SHYT!...I BARELY KNOW ME...I'm not blaming the people around me...I'm not blaming it on the surrounding...I'm not blaming it on anything.But...I don't know why.I don't know what hapened.I don't know...!!!!I did try to smileI did try to understandI did try to crack jokesI did try to make the people around me laughI did try to be carefree I did try to haf that happy-go-lucky attitudeI did try to be fine..I DID TRY TO BE ME...Somehow,I FAILED...Or maybe,I HAVEN'T QUALIFY TO BE ME...Am I invisible?Am I just INVISIBLE???...Or am I just Not being noticed...?I'm tiredI' tired of all these.I know I can't turn back timeTo be who I used to be...no matter how BAD I wanted it...I'm just so tiredSo tired of all theseSo tired of living.Can I just DIE?I don't matter to anyone anyway...It doesn't make any difference...Does it?...I'm GONE
@1:30 PM
Monday, July 28, 2008
Aku...
Kesepian hati ini mengundang kesepian pada jiwa...
Penantian itu memang satu siksa,
Bila akhirnya ia tanpa balas...Aku menanti kata hati.
Mengharapkan mimpi akan hakiki.Ku mencintaimu setulus hati.Apalah maknanya bulan,
Kalau ingin diselubungi mendung...?
Apalah ertinya mentari,Kalau sinarnya dihalang gerhana...?
Jadi,
Bagaimana
AKU harus terus hidup
Kalau
MentariTidak MAHU berkongsi kehangatannya
BulanTidak MAHU meminjamkan sinarnya...?
Apakah BOLEH aku
memilih Jalan ceritaku sendiri?
Jika tidak,
Bagaimana pula dengan
PERASAAN?Berkorban perasaanlah Yang paling memedihkan...Kerana perasaan itu
TIDAK PERNAH ada bau dan warna;
Lalu sukarnya untuk orang lain
Memahami...
Paptah lagi
Merasai...
=l
Ya Allah, KAU bukakanlah jalan TAUBATUntukku...Agar dapat kuhembusNafas terakhirku iniDengan kalimahMu,Ya Allah...Sesungguhnya KAU Maha PengampunLagi Maha Penyayang.
@4:02 AM
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I'm in school now...still!
Doing Sociology ICA...
Darn stoopid larh.
Haiz.
Tomorrow
Practical test!
Hao?!?!
Can Die ar...
Diediediediediedie!!!!!!
Today...
Havaianas into the bin!
Sad larh...
Went all the way to Vivo alone
Sick...
Just to get that.
But now,
Into the bin...
Haiz.
SAD!!!
I'm currently out of sandals.
Seriously!!!!
Niwhoos,
Google this say, actor...?
He played in 'Romzi n Juleha'
As...cousin, I think...
To Romzi.
Kewl ar the whole thing...
Kewlness!!!
Kaes la..
Boring entry, I know.
Till then,
Wish me luck for tomorrow...
Ciao!
@7:01 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Today...
Darn kecoh!
Had lab lesson at 8...
And...
I WOKE UP AT 8!!!!!!!!How farking shitty can that be?!?!?!?
Rushed to school...
Took a cab.
$12 gone with the wind. Just like that!
Was early for the 2nd hour of lab.
But the
BEST thing was...
The lecturer told me that
I have to make up for 2hrs!If I know that was coming,
Won't have taken the cab.
Effing shit!
So, the whole of my ThursdayIs with Vanessa A. Sypongco! ( '.' )Niwhoos,Happy Belated 21st Birthday to my dearestSpongebob fren...Vanessa A. Sypongco.M surprised that she's still ALIVE after her birthday...(inside joke...heh!)Lurve you la kaes 'syncope' gerl.Wasn't in school on Tuesdae.
Had to attend uncle's funeral.
Saddening...hmm.
Kaes then,
Whatever will be, will be!
Ciao!
@11:30 AM
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Aku sedar...
Telah lama aku
menyimpangDaripada jalanMu...
HilangEntak ke mana.JauhItu yang pasti.Entah
kenapaEntah
bagaimanaDiriku ini jadi begini
Aku tahu itu
salahTetapi
IBLIS laknatullah...Aku tahu
Tiada siapa yang harus dipersalahkan.
Aku yang salah.Aku yang
SEPATUTNYA dipersalahkan.
Ya Allah,Tunjukkanlah aku Ke jalan yang lurusJalan orang-orang Yang ENGKAU beri nikmatBukan jalan mereka Yang Kau murkaiBukan jalan yang sesat....Aku hilaf...
@5:57 PM
Thursday, July 03, 2008
School's fine so far...
FYP done...
Management done...
Left with:
- Community
- Sociology
- Medical-Surgical...
It seems never ending!!!
Happy though...
No more shitheads
To tell me all the crap.
The stoopid crap I've ever heard!!!
Totally bullshit la I tell you.
If you dunnoe, it's ok.
Not important anyway.. ('.')
I'm fine...
I'm totally fine...
=)
Ciao!
@4:19 PM
